The Eleventh Ghastly Tale

by Topher Holland

  • Digipak CD with original artwork by David Farrer.

    Also includes immediate download of 11 track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.
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      £7 GBP


  • Streaming + Download

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released November 1, 2010

Produced and mixed by Topher Holland at Zool studios.
Except drums on tracks 1, 5, 8, 10 and 11, recorded at
Chairworks studios, Castleford, by James Mottershead.

Session Artists:
Alex Wibrew - Drums: tracks 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11
Mike Bedder - Drums: tracks 1, 5
Jess Cope - Vox: tracks 5, 6
Mike Frankel - Hammond Organ: tracks 1, 7, 8
Ndrew Allmark - Violin: track 4
Alex Beamont - Cello: track 6
Caroline Owen - Violin: track 6
Alex Eden - Harmonica: track 1
Kevin Gibbo - Low Flute: track 7
Angus Ward - Piano: track 6, Vox: track 8

Artwork by David Farrer

Zool Records 2010



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Topher Holland UK

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Track Name: Misused Tissues
The distance feels like miles, and I've never felt that
For future reference these are misused tissues
A wicked manifestation materialized
And arrested the one, for sure

To idolize your idle eyes feels like winter
All shook up it's for the best, it seems like that way
I will meet you somewhere in-between
I know best

I feel it in my gut and I know you do too
So banish the demon from whence it came
A coagulation of passion ends in over compensation
Confusion rules the day
Track Name: Coffee
I've been drinking coffee now for 16 hours straight
My brain is slowly losing all of it's flow rate
And I've been grasping at the thoughts
At which I used to have
And I've been sucking out the useless, like a zombie I've been had
A smile I have from ear to ear and my conversation's in the constellation tonight

I am trying to let you do the talking
(I'm twitching like a mother fucker maybe I should go and take a walk)
I feel like anything is possible
(1 cup, 2 cup, 3 cup 4)

I've seen my dreams, they're oh so real
As I take another sniff they become a bigger deal
And I've been thinking leaving town with a stick and handkerchief
And I will go and seek my fortune in the circus throwing knives
A smile I have from ear to ear and my conversation's in the constellation tonight
Track Name: For Gods Sake
I have known all along since I was a little boy
So insignificant yet coy
Anxiety is starting to set in
Now I am way past ripe please let me in
Maybe it's something I am doing wrong
All I know is to do

For Gods sake, the best is yet to come
Go ahead stick a fork in me I'm done
For Gods sake, is it because I don't believe
If I did would I become the next big cheese

I should fake it with the rest but not be blessed
To choose another life has caused me strife
Against all the odds you would think twice
But I wouldn't have it any other way
I wouldn't trade my day for one of your day
And this is the reason why
Track Name: MHL
Your name it sort of rings a bell
Reminds me of someone I once new but could never tell
What it is to feel so long ago, and not know why
I never thought it would feel like forever
Waiting for Wednesday to come around
It permeates my point of view
I don't mind do you?

I don't know where all your self doubt came from
But now it's time to leave that behind
Perspective flipped is all that you need now
If you look from here it's oh so clear
and it feels so easy to be, just to be me
And I'd be inclined to stay this way

I would sell all of my stuff
That isn't mine to see you along the train line
There's something about this place, enhances mundane activities
Track Name: String Theory
Things they feel different lately
I'm not sure but there's something more
I'm not getting the looks that you throw me, your lips they tell me something's sore

You can go about your business
But you don't know a thing you see
I've something up my sleeve that will tear away your hidden side

I will go about my routine
I don't understand a thing you see
I'll sit here and tend my garden the flowers they still bloom for me

I'm sick of the put up and shut up
I twitch with anxiety
But now that I'm growing stronger I will bloom no more for you

You said we'd raise a family and now I'm getting dug up and all over T.V
By the time I start to decompose you'll have your alibi so nobody knows

I've bled through my only sweatshirt
From now on I'll take my hand not yours
You throw me a riddle, I crack it, to hack it you'd need to understand

Now is my time, time to be free
My brain is poised on the act
The question's injection or poison the next time you eat maybe your last

I don't recall being thirsty
I don't retort to discover
But now that my vision is cloudy it's now I seem to understand

And now that there's no turning back
I find a flicker of doubt and remorse
The shovel will scoop through the earth and the flowers will always bloom for you
Track Name: Prolific Exit
I'm laconic for a phase
In a pocket of time
Later on it seems like a possession has taken place
The number seems familiar
Yet I cannot place the face
Meaning to offend was not a part of the agenda

Sometimes I find it hard to lay my soul out bare
You wonder why it's hard when all you do is stand and stare
You want an easy answer
Well I guess that's fair
And the answer is out there somewhere

If acquaintance is fresh the next time you'll see a change
You might like to tell me why or where the poisons origins
Suggesting that it stems form youth
Then i am likely to agree
I wish I had control but I'll do it all again
Track Name: Alice
Definition's not the word I'd use
Everyone in here is free to choose
Maybe I'll rewire my brain
Pull up and re-route my veins
A flicker past the eye is all the same
Whatever your name

Whatever I breathe
Whatever I drink
Is sure to make me small entices verbal over me
Whatever I bleed
Whatever I take
Emotional illiteracy is what I feel right now

Yes I've read the back of the box
Zero's and one's increasing fast
Clinical it may just be, the pinnacle of what we see
Although it doesn't hold that much for me
So I'll just be
Track Name: This Day
So you turned 17 today
It seems I passed that way
Things are feeling differently than they did before
It used to seem so clear
Now it seems I need an ear a lot more that I did back then
A magic picture is how I see the world at times
Intriguing at first and then you see the real picture coming through
I don't know how to take this common mask
Driving around in circles doesn't seem all that fun to me

Fuck this day

You don't seem to come around much anymore
I long for the way it used to feel, taking me by surprise
So let's drink to youth, while it's here
Forget the fountain it would probably make things worse anyhow
I can't seem to catch my breath, these days
Squeezing me on the inside I wish it would leave me alone
If there's one thing I'm sure about, it's you
It's shocking how beautiful life can be, taking you by surprise

Love this day
Track Name: Fuck You
Watching these things as they appear
I'm trying to sound sincere
Which I am whole heartedly
It started with a phone call and now you're throwing stones at my nerves
Feel numb, don't feel much

Don't wanna turn out like that
And the things you go and do
But I'm just like you
I don't have a clue
I don't wanna turn out like that
And the people you go and do
But I'm not like you
I hope you get this clue

Years have past through the hour glass
There were times when it seemed okay
That was talk being the wrong way
I can't read you anymore it's zombie like all washed away
I don't believe anything you have to say
Track Name: Great Minds
Lay it out on the table
That's one for me
Or maybe 2 or 3
That's the problem when you're spoilt for choice
Or have it all the time
Pass me another cigarette I'll control myself
If I know it's for my health I will

Great Minds think alike
Or so I've heard
Although it seems absurd to me
Just a shot away from overkill
Over indulge I will

Uh oh, now you're suffering from with-drawl
You're coming over all twitchy and unsettled
I hate to tell you I told you so
But now you're wearing unsuitable attire
Track Name: Creep
He chooses his attire carefully
Welcomes a distraction happily
Goes to take a walk not in the park
Tries not to stare at the people who stare


She wears a floral dress covers up the chest
Playfully walking down the street, he's watching
Hand in hand with someone that's not him
Reminding him that she is out of reach

Weep creep, society frowns on your desires

He's never loved someone like this
This loves unrequited not to miss
If he can only get her to come around
She will see that he and her are meant to be

Love, love is blind he keeps repeating this
When did life become so irresistible
A polaroid is all he has to view
Now he feels he's sinking deeper still


6 years away from his retirement
It's wednesday and it's lunch time he can't keep away
The school gates he approaches are the same bars he will see now and evermore